Mistakes to avoid when spending your 'gap yah' in Kenya (part 1)

You can spot them from a mile away and they come in their dozens with their backpacks loaded up, ridiculous tan lines and a look of glee across their faces as soon as they realise that yes Africa does actually have wifi so all their photos they have been saving for Instagram and Facebook have not been in vain. Yep I'm talking about gappies (commonly referred to as gap year students). The reason I'm bringing this up now is because last week I found myself inevitably at the Maasai market spending all the money I have ever known and bargaining over the price of a dog collar.

Now bargaining in Kenya is an art, if you are born here you get it, if you are a tourist you tend to act like a local and fail miserably. Anyway I was off in some conversation half in English and half in Swahili joking with these guys about how they were charging me more than what the dog was worth and happily knocking 4000 shillings off the original price (this only came after further arguing, the guy putting the dog collar around his neck asking if he could be my dog and his friend challenging my sister and I to a Maasai "jump off"). After doing so a bunch of gap year guys shopping at the next stall asked if I could bargain for them as they thought they were being ripped off (they were) so I thought hey why not give some pointers of things to avoid if you want to walk away having paid local prices for everything. 

1) For heavens sake don't take your camera (as soon as they see that then all hope is lost and you might as well have 'tourist' tattooed across your head. 

2) dress sense is everything - if you have flip flops and kikoy trousers go for them (if they are nice flip flops and trousers from kikoy.com forget it - it's bata shoes and locally made trousers or nothing) 

3) the only hat acceptable is a baseball cap and it has to be old, preferably with rips 

4) length of shorts - too short and they will know you don't live here, in fact the more you cover up the more believable it will be 

5) take your own plastic bags - they have a clever way of using coloured bags to let the other guys selling things who they can and can't rip off 

6) you know Swahili? Great - use it! 

7) And probably the most important thing to do is be friendly and talk and joke with them. Ask about their family and everything, if they like you then the price will drop instantly. One of the best things that a mate and I did was convince one guy that we were journalists and if he wanted us to mention him the he would have to give us local prices (so to the man who sold us those necklaces at junction -here's a shoutout for you) 

follow those simple steps and I promise they probably will think that you are just a local mzungu (White man) getting stuff than a gap year tourist looking for memorabilia. But that said please don't allow my words to get in the way of you taking selfies with the locals to snapchat to your friends. Happy shopping!