Bribes, Sheikhs and Makeshift bars -the only way to travel!

You know those moments in life where everything seems to be going wrong but you feel that you have no choice but to laugh? Yeah that's me - pretty much everytime I travel.

It all started with the inevitable "Christ we are not going to make it in time!! Quick turn on James Blunt and take deep breaths" as it was a rather worse than usual commute to the airport. To distract myself from the things going wrong I made a checklist of everything that contributed to me hyperventilating while my brother massaged my shoulders in an attempt to calm me down. 

1) Police being Prats - check! (You would think that policeman A would talk to policeman B standing the other side of the roundabout to ensure traffic both sides was moving but no they are too busy seeing who they can't stop to make a bit of extra money)

2) Chinese roads - check (yes they are well made and yes the also don't have many exit points so when you find yourself going the wrong way.....) 

3) Lorries - all lorries 

4) Car crashes (or more appropriately car bumps -  the cause of the hour and a half long traffic turned out to simply be a car who had bumped into the back of another car. Now they have a stupid rule in Kenya which means that whenever you have a car accident it is illegal to move the vehicles from the road until the police turn up to get the "evidence" so thus you end up with situations like this - two cars in the middle of the highway unable to move with their drivers standing around IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY! Logical right??) 

5) Airport security (usually it's fine but this time I am flying to Dubai, and let me tell you when you are behind sheikh whatever his name is with all of his gold, for lack of a better word "bling" arguing with the officials because he doesn't want to take all 7 million pieces off - it can be quite frustrating) 

6) First Class and Buisness Class Lounge (now this didn't bug me at all - it entertained me hugely! Instead of having an actual lounge for these guys they were all piled into the same room as those travelling "cattle class" (I.e me) but made to feel special by being given the front row of plastic seats complete with a tiny yet well stocked bar (a plastic table with an airport official serving whiskey most of which I am sure he had drunk himself). I wish I had been able to take a picture - the look on the first class travellers faces was priceless, but hey you have to make do. In a complete selfish way I felt glad that they had to be put through this as I knew that in the next hour or so they would be lying back sipping champagne while I on the other hand would be squished up against a wall drinking water. 

7) The talker. Now don't get me wrong I am not unfriendly but I don't talk to people on planes (usuallyi I because I am grumpy and tired but hey) yet somehow I always end up sitting next to someone who wants to talk to me. Once I have boarded the plane and then walked wishfully past the business class seats and walked on and on and on until I reached the back of the plane, I like sitting down with my book and not talking to anyone. Sadly this never happens (I am writing this on the plane so maybe miss "oh did I mention I am engaged??" Sitting next to me might look over my shoulder and be quiet for 5 mins - I hope she reads this) 

8) she didn't :( 

Dubai from the Sky

But ranting aside - hello Emirates, airline that i will fly with for the rest of my life! Flying economy in Emirates must equate to flying first in Kenya Airways! I mean I got a menu for my evening meal, my TV worked and I got a free mint when I disembarked. And on top of all that your TV turns into a camera during takeoff and landing so I could see Kenya slowly fading away and Dubai coming up to greet me. Sorry Kenya airways, British airways, KLM etc but I don't think you can compete - I'm sold!! 

x
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