A Classic Kenyan Christmas!

The 25^th of December – a day everyone looks forward to, supposedly a stress free day when the whole family come together to spread the love and joy. As if! Every year our family brings a new drama, comment or horrific present – and this year was no exception.  

To give you some idea of what we are dealing with, in the past presents have included shoelaces, plastic bags, a colouring book half coloured in and empty boxes. As for comments we have had “Jesus, you look like a witch”, “don’t worry – he just loves her more” and “better luck next year”.

This year we arrived at the house and were greeted by screams of “why the fuck won’t the oven turn on?” “bugger KPLC*, WHY would you have a power cut today – WHY??” and the usual “I don’t care anymore – just give me another gin and tonic and make it a double”.

And so it continued….

My sisters and I were thrown into the kitchen upon arrival and attempted to rectify any damage done by the continuous power shortages, my dad was running around shouting orders which I am sure have been instilled in him since his army days, and my brother managed to avoid the whole thing by claiming that it was more important to watch the Top Gear Special than decorate the table (fair point – but still).

Then the rest of the family arrived, the pimms was made, the bubbly was opened and everything got easier.  And with one eye being kept on my grandfather who seemed to be making his way through the alcoholic truffles at an alarming pace, it was present time! I won’t say what they were, but I received two presents to top all horrific presents this year, and frankly I think I would have been better off with an empty box. And to add insult to injury my entire family played a trick on me by wrapping up a purse made out of plastic bags and pretending that that was what dad had got me instead of the new travel wallet I had asked for. My face must have been a picture!

The day ended with my grandmother insisting that the grandchildren give a concert, and as blaring out the lyrics to the 12 days of Christmas, whilst getting increasingly louder and more confused is somewhat a Christmas tradition of mine – we obliged.

Over all it was a pretty standard Christmas in our household, the sun was shining, a fair amount of alcohol was consumed, the meal turned out fine, cricket was played, presents were opened with “delight” and bets were placed on next year’s presents. Regardless of everything –to me Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without all this, family is family and seriously if you can’t beat them you have no choice but to join them!

*KPLC - Kenya Power and Lighting Company more commonly known as Kenya - Please Light Candles. 

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