Do Blonde's Really Have More Fun? A Social Experiment Conducted By Me.

Oh Hey..... 

"See you later!" you say, with a quick kiss as you part ways, knowing full well that this is the last time you will see each other. In the modern dating world, people are disposable, you can meet them and have a great time and then never hear from them again. Welcome to the generation of instant gratification.

Alongside the rise of the digital dating age comes impatience and shallowness, and as millennials, we have embraced both quite happily and fully. Gone are the days where you approach someone in a bar and ask to buy them a drink, now any chance of a connection is based on shallow assumptions and how you portray yourself in a few photos and a sentence or two. In spite of this, we are still the generation who has less sex than our predecessors, as sad as it is apparently we are all glued to our phones too much to care. Regardless of this, I thought I would have some fun and see if one of the old stereotypes still rings true and that is - do blonde's really have more fun?

The Experiment 

Ok, so I would like to point out that this experiment was in no way a fair or scientific, it was just a bit of fun. I had my hair done recently and chucked in some blonde highlights, with a clever bit of lighting and a good photo angle, I managed to make myself look blonde (see above). Then I chucked the photo up on Bumble and quite literally let the games begin. Now I know some of you may be thinking - how unfair, she is lying to the guys, not being her true self, guys have feelings too etc, so let me just say right here and now that I was open and honest with each of them, and at the end of the day I didn't know any of them and they didn't know me so I don't feel at all bad. The aim of this was to see if I got more matches or comments with my blonde photo or not. I asked about 50 guys, and granted not all of them got back to me, some of them I think saw it as a test and ran for the non-existent digital hills, but a fair few did and what they came back with made me laugh.

The Findings 

This was a lot more fun than I initially anticipated and I even managed to get a couple of dates out of it, so win-win for me. Although the guys I asked told me the answers that they thought I wanted to hear, I still got some great comments back. To be fair to them, though, if I was asked I would most likely do the same. Here are some of my favourite answers:

So Do Blondes Really Have More Fun? 

So the answer to this question is, in my opinion, probably not. However, as I said previously the answers I got were probably what boys thought I wanted to hear. Anyone who bothered to look at the rest of my photos would realise that I am without a doubt definitely a brunette, and that is something I won't be changing anytime soon. This was a completely ridiculous experiment to conduct, and my findings very unreliable, but having said that I did find it interesting how guys responded to the questions I asked them. Obviously, it shouldn't matter what colour hair someone has, but seeing as you base your decision on whether to talk to someone on a mere photo, it's something that people now pay attention to. I always thought I had a "type", but recently I have been on a few dates with someone who is probably the antithesis of what I usually go for so I guess it's all about getting rid of the so-called 'labels' and just going with the flow! So get out there and have fun guys, you never know, the unexpected might surprise you!

The "Rules of Dating" According To Yours Truly...

Please remove yourself from my personal space immediately...

I've been back in the dating game for several months now, and as far as I'm concerned it's going quite well, I've met lots of new people (only a few crazy ones so far) and generally I'm having a good time. Dating for me is just a bit of fun, I go into dates not looking for anything serious and just to meet someone new and see what happens. If I meet someone who I fancy seeing more than a couple of times then that's great, if not - I'll get over it. Recently, I had a catch up with an old friend of mine and the subject of dating and the rules of dating inevitably came up, so about three drinks and a pizza later we found ourselves googling 'dating rules' and debating how ridiculously outdated and sexist they are.

We all know that society isn't ready to accept equality between men and women, and those of you who read my blog know that this is something that I feel very strongly about, but even I wasn't prepared for the barrage of sexism which greeted me after my little gander on google. The first page of google is flooded with articles entitled things like "Dating Rules to Get the Guy" (Cosmopolitan), "10 Dating Rules Men wish you would break" (Glamour), "10 Rules for Dating when you want a serious relationship" (Huffington Post) and "How to get that girl" (Men's Health). I mean really? To me, none of these articles looked the least bit worthy of my time as they preach that ridiculous notion that women only ever want a relationship and men only ever want sex, both of which are vastly untrue.

So what are these "rules"?

I thought I would have some fun with it and pick out the most overused and ridiculous rules and poke some holes in them. So here we go:

1) Don't text back immediately - wait a day or so. 
The Reason: apparently you seem to keen and clingy

Verdict: Nope sorry,  I don't take into consideration a timeline when messaging at all. I either do it right away or hours later, it entirely depends on what I am doing at the time and not on how I wish to 'portray' myself to a virtual stranger. But people actually do abide by this rule, I remember at uni once, my utter confusion when my housemate got a BBM (how retro is that?) from a guy she was interested in and refused to even look at it for 3 hours in case he thought she was desperate! Luckily, this dynamic is changing now, with apps being the main way people meet. Bumble, for example, gives you 24 hours to strike up a conversation or you unmatch with that person. On a personal level, I also have to admit that if a guy waited a day or so to message me back I would have already moved on.

2) Letting the guy pay for everything 
The reason: guys like to be flashy, and impress you with the attempt at being chivalrous.

Verdict: Truth be told, it makes me uncomfortable. It's the 21st century, not the 1920's. Who ends up picking up the bill shouldn't be a thing, I am happy to let someone pay for the first round of drinks as long as I get the next, but if a guy constantly insists on paying for everything, I admit I get wary and back away.
I don't really believe in chivalry - manners yes, but chivalry, in my opinion, is just society's way of telling men that if you behave a certain way then women will like and respect you.

3) Don't mention your family
The reason: makes you look like you want too much too soon from the other person.

Verdict: I think I have mentioned my family on pretty much every single date I have been on, it kind of goes with the whole 'tell me about yourself' question...

4) Focus on one person at a time
The reason: gives you time to really get to know the other person

Verdict: haha - no one does this! With dating apps, you just have way too much choice. Guys tend to swipe rights for every girl who pops up on their app (even if they tell you otherwise) and although girls are more selective, it's not too much of a difference. So unless you get to a point where you both only want to see each other, I would strongly discourage anyone from only focusing on dating one guy/girl at a time.

5) Wait as long as you can before sleeping together
The reason: to develop that "emotional connection" before taking things to the bedroom

Verdict: out of all the 'rules', this one annoys me the most. Every single thing I have read states that if you sleep with a guy on the first date, he will see you as a good time girl and that's the end of it, whereas if you wait he will see you as wife material. I mean come on! This plays straight into the sexist idea I mentioned before - that society thinks women just want marriage and men just want a good time. My advice - scrap this rule NOW! Do whatever you feel comfortable with, whenever you feel like it. Also if one of you is only interested in a physical relationship, then I can guarantee you that waiting won't change that and you will just end up hurting yourself in the process. If it's the right person, then it won't matter if you hook up on date one or date twenty.

Overall Verdict? 

So basically, my dating rules are that there are no rules. I figure it out with each guy, and in my opinion, that's what everyone should do. Luckily, with the rise in dating apps, more and more of these so-called 'rules' are becoming outdated and not read as the 10 commandments, but there are still those out there who will abide by them due to the media painting a picture of what a relationship should look like.

My advice? Scrap the rules and do whatever the hell you want to do.


*Image sourced from Shutterstock 

To Hat or not to Hat: A Critique of Female Wedding Attire

Any thoughts?

I am not a fashion blogger, I have never been a fashion blogger and I have absolutely no interest in ever becoming a fashion blogger, so this is my first (and maybe last depending on the reaction) blog on clothes. After all, I grew up on a farm wearing jeans, a t-shirt and no shoes; the first time I came into contact with 'fashion' was when I was shipped off to boarding school and even then it was only the classic public school clone uniform of Jack Wills and Abercrombie and Fitch (happy to say I haven't set foot in either of these stores for several years now). It was a weird moment in my life when I attempted to get into it, I bought the hoodie and the trackie bottoms for about £100 and I started to say 'yah' at the end of each sentence- luckily I remained a fraud and it didn't stay with me, so yeah, I'm not exactly the next fashionista.

Anyway, at some point in the last couple of years and without me realising it, my Facebook feed has become flooded with engagement announcements and wedding photos. I, ladies and gentlemen have reached THAT stage in my life, but don't worry I am hardly sitting on my bed, looking at my left hand and dreaming of Prince Charming. No, I am far more concerned about how long it will take me to see the world and how many years it will be until I can afford to get a pug puppy.  This is who I am, which probably is why I actually find it so irritating putting in so much effort for someone else's "big day" (cynic alert!), I will however, leave my cynicism of marriage for another blog post.

Finding a dress: 
So first things first, my desperate attempt to find a dress, can someone please answer the question - WHY IS EVERYTHING FLORAL? I mean I'm not against floral exactly, but I kid you not - every single 'wedding' garment has flowers on it (see above), it's the done thing apparently. Then there are the other rules that you have to follow. For example how much white is too much? Interestingly before religion got involved, and Queen Victoria wore a white dress, brides traditionally wore coloured dresses to show their status and wealth, and the bridesmaids wore white as it was considered a plain colour. Technically now, women wear it because it's the done thing, not because they are signalling their virginity and purity - I mean it's the 21st century guys, 'purity' doesn't exist - get over it! The list is endless. Sometimes it really sucks being a girl, maybe I should just buy a suit, break tradition and get it over with.

To hat or not to hat
The next thing to consider is do I have to have something on my head? After I got over my initial eye-roll at the fact that hat etiquette is a thing (only the British right?) I decided to do a bit of research into why. Turns out the tradition of women wearing hats to weddings actually dates back to when the Anglican Church required women to cover their heads in church (go figure) and has just developed into a weird fashionable tradition for British ladies. And get this, there are rules to hat etiquette, my dear friend - RULES!! Most of them are completely ridiculous but the two which make me laugh/cry a little bit are:
1- The mother of the groom should always wear a hat which is smaller than the mother of the bride
2 - The mother of the bride dictates when other ladies remove their hats and fascinators, when she has hers on - you have yours on...*cries with laughter*
To me this all seems way too outdated, the only hat I feel happy wearing is my safari hat, and something tells me that I might be a bit out of place in one of those...

The Shoes 
And here is where I fall down completely. I don't really wear heels - ever! Besides the fact that they are male invention designed to make women's legs look skinner and make it harder for them to run away, I just find them unconformable and besides they impede on my epic dancing skills.

I think I might just have to bite the bullet and find one outfit which is 'wedding worthy' and then to the unthinkable and wear it to every upcoming wedding I have.

Wish me luck!